i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
