dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
