i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
