i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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