Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
PANTIES FOUND
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