My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
