They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
