I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
