I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
