Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
