it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
