WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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