So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
