yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
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