if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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