I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
