she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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