Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
