He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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