If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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