My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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