it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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