one two three fourrrrnication!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
