I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
