No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
