they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That accounts for only three of the penises
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
