I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
