Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize