i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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