Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
