so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
