the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
