How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
