mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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