I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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