You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His nipple licking is glorious
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