i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize