I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
