I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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