there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
