My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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