Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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