she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So much rum. So many feels.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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