I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize