I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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