I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize