I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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