It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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