Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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