Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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