Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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(813): View more from Florida

watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...

(863): View more from Florida

Can I come live with you?

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(571): View more from Virginia

I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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(208): View more from Idaho

If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.

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(863): View more from Florida

not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.

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