At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
