Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
