Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
