didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
