i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
