She said her name was "party"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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