You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
