i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
