fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
