My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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