Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
