Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
