the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
