did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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