I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
