I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
