I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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