So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
